Today, went to school as usual, not much lessons again. Ng was being stupid, she kept nudging twinkle, because we were playing random games, but her monotonous voice really makes me go to sleep, so to keep awake, we play stupid games. All in all, her lessons were super unproductive at all. After that, was Chinese, Twinkle, Rachael, Caryn and I were sitting at the bench and talking about really random things and doing really random things as well huh. Then, one period later, we retreated back to our class, but realised there was still no teacher, thus we decided to sing Christian songs outside the class. I guess this was the high point of the day, getting close to you, lord. After that, we went for recess, supposedly early, end up, we ran down since the bell rang. Then, more free periods after that, and it was clean and green. It was absolutely tiring, and friends criticized me for really dumb reasons then, so I felt really inferior and emo, and stuff. I didn’t really want to do anymore stuff; I wasn’t in the mood yeah. Sorry everybody. Then, had parent-teacher meeting, I bet teacher told my mum stupid things about me, I really got to reason out things later. BAND was great today. I felt so much better during band. Thank-you section, especially Mavis who made me feel really good, thanks a lot yeah! You really made my day, but don't feel so inferior. Though that bunch of random notes were really made up, you know that you can do better yeah, besides, you're the band major. I ought to be the one feeling inferior huh! I guess, we're still friends yeah. Practice harder, and maybe you'll reach my standard of things. ;D Oh, and you've got to thank me for running all the way to the band room just to get your wallet. I wouldn't do that for just anybody, but I did that for you. Honoured? You ought to be. Cheer up yeah.

Okay, life hasn’t been too well for me. I feel really stupid. Well, at least now I know that I really am. Perhaps I should really pursue a career musically, with my talents playing the saxophone. That’s what I really am good at. Academically, I know that I’m really dumb, and have really no talent for studying. I really studied really hard, and tried my best to study smart. I guess all these didn’t pay off at all. I scored really badly for the recent mid-year exams. My mum even had to meet with HOD. Why does school emphasize so much on academics? Now, there’s no more CCA points for O-level, so what’s the point of even having a CCA? In fact, I rather have scores based on CCA, and then I’ll definitely be able to get my As. I guess that’ll be impossible for now, till maybe a century later or something stupid.

What has life has in store for me? I really wonder, exams grades are horrible, and my playing isn’t exactly really good. What other things can happen to make life even more unbearable. Sometimes, I just want to give up, then I tell myself, there are so many people out there cheering me on, and giving my the endless amounts of encouragement. Maybe I’m not so stupid, I just need to find the right studying technique, or maybe I really am stupid. And no matter how much studying I do, I won’t be able to even get a top 20 in class at all. Sometimes I really wonder what I live for, I really want to say it’s for God, but truthfully, I haven’t been reading the bible. Singing praises for him during school hours has really made me reflect on my life. I guess life isn’t all about studies and school or anything of the sort. I don’t know what I’m talking anymore, I’m talking in riddles, and it’s getting really confusing. I guess I’ll just have to trust in God to improve my living situation, and give me hope in life. Pray!

I would love to end on a lighter note, a funfact about me.
I sleep best on…














A moving vehicle! [:D]